A Labour of Love!

Meet Asha, my spunky, gregarious, large-hearted, and out-spoken childhood friend. I have known her pretty much all my life, but only in recent times have I discovered that I really knew so little of her. Super Mum, Entrepreneur, Radio Jockey and Photographer – Does that spell SuperSheila or what!

So today, I will set out to tell Asha's story, which is nothing short of a 'labour of love' - on the personal and professional front. A story that will hopefully renew your faith in humanity and leave you imbued with a sense of altruism. A story that will serve as a reminder that love overcomes all obstacles and how!

Now let's start at the very beginning - like Julie Andrews would say, "a very good place to start."

I do not remember when I first met Asha, as I was probably just a tiny tot at the time. We grew up in the same neighbourhood, as our Fathers worked for a company ensconced in a gated community. However, I recall that even back then there were clear signs of her largesse, as she championed the cause of stray dogs and the less fortunate.

It was only natural therefore that when the time came, the question 'To adopt or not to adopt', did not even figure in Asha and her husband Sridhar's decision. To quote her,

"Right from when I was a teenager, I was clear in my mind that when the time came, I would adopt - and a girl at that. Why bring another child into this world, when there are already so many orphaned children craving for parents and a family to give them love, affection and a home?"

A news clipping featuring Asha following her adoption of Meghna

In 2009, when Asha and Sridhar decided to lay down their roots, they had spent close to two decades of their married life going wherever their jobs took them – across India, Hong Kong, China, Egypt and Turkey. They had lived the carefree lives of a 'DINK' (Double income, no kids) couple thus far, yet decided to return to India to start their family. They had been in touch with an adoption agency and were keen to get the adoption process going.

Within weeks of relocating and submitting their application, Asha and Sridhar were advised of a 5-year-old girl Meghna who was available for immediate adoption. Asha recalls fondly,

“The moment we laid eyes on her and saw her broad smile, we knew she just felt right. We were told that she was 'differently abled’ and realised that there were issues that we would need to work with, but we were fine with it.”

Asha went on to tell me that Meghna had been found wandering the streets of New Delhi by herself as a 3-year-old. I shudder to think what the hapless little toddler’s life would have turned out to be, if a kind passer-by had not notified the Social welfare department; and she had not been admitted into an orphanage. She spoke a strange tongue that no one could identify. She had been in a couple of different orphanages, while the search for her family was ongoing.

Asha and Sridhar are all smiles in the first shots taken with Meghna in 2009

It is in this condition that Asha and Sridhar welcomed little Meghna home – just 4 weeks since they had initiated the adoption process. However, their joy was short-lived, as Asha’s mother passed-away just weeks after. Asha tears up as she recalls that dark period,

“My mother was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis just after we arrived in India. It was unfortunately diagnosed at a very late stage and she could not keep up the battle for long.”

“I had just become a mother and then lost my own. I was inconsolable and was struggling to deal with the shock. It was then that my daughter reached out to me. She could not express herself vocally, as she had what the world calls ‘special needs’, but offered great comfort with her cuddles. We both needed each other, and this co-dependency helped me greatly in healing and forging an unshakable bond with her. Meghna was my absolute rock and helped me hold things together.”

Many visits to Doctors and Specialists later, it was concluded that Meghna’s frail condition were a result of the early trauma she had suffered and also by a form of epilepsy called ‘Absence seizures’. Her major developmental delays manifested themselves in literacy and numeracy skills, working memory loss and communication.

Armed with that knowledge, Asha knew that she had her work cut out for her. She had been contemplating starting a Training consultancy in India but knew now that she would have to put that on hold, as Meghna needed her full-time attention. Finding a school for her and helping her fend off the barbs that society was throwing at her took #1 priority.

Nothing says happiness like clowning around and some cuddles!

Thus, began a slow and memorable journey to help Meghna to navigate through the challenges that were coming at her hard and fast.

“I realised at this stage that the world was not really geared up for the differently abled. All the things that I had taken for granted, I soon realised were a struggle for my little princess. I put all the training skills I had garnered over the years to good use.”

Asha then quotes an anecdote, which exemplifies the immense happiness they got from the baby steps taken by their little daughter.

"When Meghna first arrived, she could not say any colours. Everything was ‘Lal’, the Hindi word for red. I never felt as much joy at any training delivered, as when she first recognised and said the colour ‘Purple’ – which is her favourite colour to date.”

When I heard the story from Asha, not only did I hear the pride and joy dripping from the voice of a proud mother, I also imagined the euphoria that little Meghna must’ve felt at that time. Surely the little angel must’ve felt like she had summitted Mt. Everest in her Mommy’s eyes. Oh, the wonders that a Mum’s love can do for a child. I personally know that I can never look at the colour purple again without thinking of Meghna.

Colour me Purple! The first photo is a self-portrait by Meghna.

In 2011, Asha was offered her old job back in Hong Kong. She had been responsible for delivering Leadership training and managing talent development across 8 countries for a large global retailer. Sridhar offered to quit his job and find another one there. So, the decision was made.

While Asha now had a full-time job, she ensured that Meghna had all the attention she required to help her grow. Their priority again was to find good schooling. Asha tells me of the challenge they faced to find a suitable school.

“We struggled with schooling in Hong Kong. Public schools are all in Cantonese. Normally this would not be an issue, but for a child who already has communication difficulties, bringing in another language into her life would cause problems. Private schooling was not only expensive but also admission rate is very low, as there are huge waiting lists. So, this entailed a lot of additional home schooling. She has responded very well to this approach.”

Turns out that Asha has also found the secret to Mark Twain's quote, "Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never work a day in your life." Over the past decade, in parallel to being a Super Mum, Asha has also successfully set up her own business in Hong Kong and India with her brother Prasad. Chrysalis Consulting helps people and organisations develop their skills and competencies.

Upon being queried on the motivation behind it, Asha tells me,

"I have always been driven by the need to help people. I wanted to help people become better leaders. I now work with new leaders – young Gen Y and Gen Z professionals who aspire to become leaders. We have delivered about 20,000 man days of training and 300-400 hours of 1:1 and group coaching. This year we are looking at expanding to other countries – Taiwan, Korea and Thailand.”

Asha successfully maintains the fine work-life balance!

And wait there’s more! In Asha’s words,

“When we are open to change and open to new things, they will come to us – even if we don’t go looking for them actively.”

Last year she received an invitation from an internet radio station called ‘Hits of Bollywood’, to host a weekly radio show for them. And recently she has been contacted by another radio station in Hong Kong to host a show. Meghna loves Bollywood songs and movies too – so fits right in with their interests.

My focus in this post has been on Asha, but the role Sridhar has played in Meghna's adoption and upbringing cannot be underplayed.

"Sridhar has always been very supportive of adopting a child. In fact, for Meghna he has been 'Papa' since the first time she saw him. With me, she went through the gamut of 'Aunty' and 'Didi', before settling on 'Mummy'. To this day, if she is unwell, she needs him by her side."

Today, cocooned in the security of her parents’ love and care, Meghna has blossomed and gained confidence with her social interactions. Beaming with happiness, Asha says,

“Meghna is now 16 and it has been a pleasure watching her grow and flourish. She is a beautiful child. Loves being with people. Loves music. Loves to dance. We have tried to give her all the opportunities where she can flourish. She has been my rock and my teacher. She has taught me the meaning of unconditional love and resilience. I love her and can’t think of my life without Meghna."

Meghna bids her classmates goodbye via zoom in June 2020 during the COVID-19 lockdown

So on that note, it's time for me to call this a wrap too. I hope you can take a page out of this amazing story of compassion, love and selfnessness. I know I did.

Here's to my very own (childhood) backyard SuperSheila - may she continue to spread her message of love and hope (as Asha literally means that in Hindi). Here's to the little 'Purple Princess' - may she continue down her path of learning and discovery, as she edges slowly and steadily towards the cusp of womanhood. Here's to each of us - may we make this world a better place, especially for those who we perceive as being "different" from us.

Asha shares how enriching her journey as a mother has been and the lessons learnt along the way! There may be a tip or two for other mothers.