Beauty comes in many shades!

Sometimes it is two-toned, as I have learnt with my soft-spoken and ever-smiling friend, Abhilekha! As a brown woman with white patches all over her face and body, she has learnt to embrace Vitiligo; and prove to the world that she is not defined by the colour of her skin. Now, how she made that journey from battling social ostracisation even as a kid, to being comfortable in her own skin today, has 'SUPERSHEILA' written all over it.

"I still vaguely recall the horror when I first discovered a small white patch on my right leg. I was probably 6-7 years old. My parents were worried that I had some life-threatening disease and took me from one doctor to another, in the hope of a cure. It was only after several visits to skin specialists that it was diagnosed to be Leucoderma/ Vitiligo."

Abhilekha could not find photos from her childhood days, as she shied away from the camera because of the social stigma attached to Vitiligo

Abhilekha fights back the tears as she tells me how she would get stared at everywhere she went. Sometimes she said, they were curious stares and sometimes just fear, as there was little awareness back then about Vitiligo. Abhilekha recounts that what was more humiliating was the fact that everyone seemed to have an opinion on how she could cure this 'curse'. So much so that a well-intentioned fellow traveller on public transport told her parents that they should try Unani medicine (an alternative system of Perso-Arabic medicine that originated in Ancient Greece, and now is widely practiced in India). Desperate for a miracle cure for their precious daughter, her parents took up the suggestion offered. And thus, began her distasteful treatment that was accompanied with an unpalatable diet.

Unfortunately, the treatment had little effect and the loss of pigmentation in her skin started to spread in patches.

"What started as an odd patch, soon started to grow. The kids in the neighbourhood started to pick on me, tease me and refuse to play with me. Their parents thought I had leprosy and thought my skin disease was contagious. I recall often crying myself to sleep wondering what I had done wrong to deserve this."

I cannot even begin to fathom the trauma that the young teenager must have endured at the social stigma attached to her rare skin condition. The loss of confidence with every barb thrown in her direction. The utter shame she must have felt at being gawked at for being different from others.

Fortunately, not everyone in the little world around the budding teenager was cruel to her. With the help of her extremely supportive parents, teachers, and friends at school, Abhilekha slowly began to gain confidence and learn to accept her condition. She had also tired of the various forms of medicine she had tried over the years and decided to call it quits.

The previously camera-shy Abhilekha, strikes many a pose with her supportive friends

A few years later, upon the urging of a friend of the family, Abhilekha started Homeopathy treatment (another alternative form of medicine). This seemingly had an adverse impact on her and her conditioned worsened. She was now in her early 20s and had just begun to work. She had reached what was considered a marriageable age and her parents began the lookout for a 'suitable boy' for her.

Abhilekha continues with a grimace,

“I was turned down by every match that was coming my way. We would have the customary visit from the prospective groom and family; and then get 'rejected' because of the white patches. Some of the questions that were posed to me about my skin condition were so nonsensical that I could not believe people's ignorance. My parents in desperation resorted to sending me to Gujarat every month, as we were told that there was a doctor out there who could cure me of my ailment."

"It was then that I realise that I did not need acceptance from a man or society for that matter. I was happy with the way I looked, patches and all. I assured my parents that I was a strong and independent girl and that they should take courage in that fact. I had formed some great friendships at work that were helping me get mentally stronger by the day. With the encouragement of my friends and workmates, the patches faded away in my head and in the mirror. I started to feel beautiful for the first time ever in all my life. I stopped shying away from the camera and in fact loved posing for it."

It was at this point in Abhilekha’s life that she chanced upon a profile on a 'matrimonial site' that piqued her interest. Her first question to the guy was if he had any issues with her white patches; and HE DIDN'T!!! So, this is how she met Niraj. He made her feel beautiful inside out. Abhilekha was quite taken with how refreshingly open-minded he was and so were her would-be in-laws. A month and a half later they were married.

Abhilekha with her husband Niraj and son Rishabh - the rock and love of her life!

Abhilekha blossomed further under Niraj's love and caring. However, when she became pregnant 9 months later, she found herself once again plagued with the fear that she may pass on her skin condition to the child she was bearing. Niraj assured her that it would not matter if she did and he would love them all just the same. And so it was that they brought their son, Rishabh into this world.

It has now been 5 years since and Abhilekha leads a fulfilling life with her husband, their healthy and energetic son; and supportive in-laws. She is a stay-home Mum, but successfully runs an online business of fashion jewellery and ethnic wear. Rishabh is now 4 and keeps them entertained with his shenanigans. Abhilekha also actively supports other women and young girls suffering from Vitiligo. While the awareness around the auto-immune disease has now improved, she has found that it can still have a major impact to a person's self-esteem; and she would like to help in any way she can.

Abhilekha with her family and her husband's!

Abhilekha concludes saying,

"I am teaching Rishabh to be a caring and sensitive child. I learnt early on in life that kids reflect the thoughts of their parents or the society around them. So, I want to teach him the values of acceptance, love, and compassion. I want him to be kind to others and never hurt anyone, the way I was hurt when I was growing up. I was lucky to have the support of my family and friends to overcome my early struggles, but not everyone will have the same happy ending that I have had."

The ever-so warm-hearted 4 year old prays for the safety of his family and the world from Corona virus. Bless his little heart!

I am hopeful that Abhilekha's story will serve as an impetus for each of us, to find the courage, to commence our own journey towards overcoming things about ourselves that we don't like. Whether it is a crooked nose, crooked smile or a lazy eye, here's to giving us permission to love ourselves. I am also hopeful that this story will serve as a reminder to all of us that just because someone doesn't fit the social norms of 'beauty' or is different from us, doesn't make them any less than others who are. We all have our own unique identities. So here's to learning to appreciate differences and wearing our own uniqueness with pride.

ABHI, YOU SUPERSHEILA - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE OUT!!!

PS: This story is also dedicated to a ‘mother figure’ in my life, who suffers from Vitiligo. You know who you are. You are one of the most independent, resilient, adventurous, and courageous women I know; and I love and admire you for it. x